What an extraordinary week it has been in the world of football. First Saints beat table topping Liverpool in a story almost immediately overshadowed by Sunderland being shit and Paulo Di Cantio receiving the thigh high leather boot* from the Black Cat’s players. Then United got guffed on by City (M) in the Mancunian derby before Luis Suarez made his return from suspension without managing to get sent off, urinating on the statue of Sir Alex or eye gouging the fourth official. Lastly the league cup produced a series of games so dull that the highlight was Arsenal’s under 11 team being slightly better at penalties than West Brom’s reserves; listening to BBC 5 Live trying to make all this sound exciting certainly did not make the night shifts rattle past.
Still in other news last week’s predictions saw good old Marcus claw back another two points on the BBC’s cowardly, over-cautious, pastel-shadedly-shirted football ‘expert’ ‘Lawro’. My gigantic tally of eight points included one score bang on and five other correct outcomes and when aligned to a decent return on Braeburn’s tenner made for a good weekend all round. However, there is no time for me to rest on my laurels with another tricky set of fixtures this weekend, after all the BBC’s Football ‘Expert’ won’t beat himself. Well he might but I think we’d all rather not think about that.
*I know I made this joke recently but was planning to recycle it later in the season and now is my last chance.
Spurs v Chelsea
Spurs are, to my untrained eye at least, genuine title contenders this season and the only thing spoiling this game is BT Sport’s trailer for the match repeatedly stamping on the late great Sir Bobby Robson’s grave. Having been unfortunate enough to witness Chelsea’s pitiful efforts at Old Trafford earlier this season suggests to me that this game will be as tight as AVB’s trousers with Spurs just having enough minerals to nick one late on.
My Prediction 1-0
‘Lawro’s’ Prediction 1-1
Villa v City (M)
Normal service is resumed and all is well with the world once more. Sanuel Pellegrino’s team are now in sparkling form while Villa without Benteke up front look as flat as a joke about thigh high leather boots being repeated over and over again. There was early optimism that Paul Lambert’s team might have a better season this term but after five games it now appears that they won’t.
MP 0-3
LP 0-2
Fulham v City (C)
The Cottages have been woeful in the league but who on earth knows how much confidence they can take from a midweek win in the Credit Card Cup? Me and ‘Lawro’ that’s who in the first of three complete agreements this week.
MP 2-1
LP 2-1
Tigers (grrr) v Hammers
West Yawn have drawn their last two away from home with a nil all scoreline and I see no reason why Hull should have any more luck getting round the double decker than Saints or Newcastle. ‘Lawro’ either lazily or cowardly (you decide) goes for the home win here.
MP 0-0
LP 2-1
Man Utd v Baggies
More disappointing agreement here but only a damn fool would predict anything other than a heavy home win for the Red Devils. Interestingly ‘Lawro’ has predicted more than two goals for any team in a match since 1973.
MP 3-0
LP 3-0
Saints v Palace
Fresh from last weekend’s fantastic performance at Anfield it will be interesting to see if the Saints can pick up a win against one of the Premier Leagues smaller outfits. I don’t mean to disrepectful to the combustible fool Ian Holloway but fingers crossed that Saints will stuff the Super Eagles.
MP 3-0
LP 2-0
Swansea v Gooners
A purists dream this one, the ball will be zipping around quicker than a title challenge can collapse in mid-March. Luckily for Arsenal it is not mid-March yet and the only thing that will upset them is the sight of Michu, the kind of bargainous genius that Arsene Wenger used to excel in finding, trotting around in the white of the Swans.
MP 1-2
LP 1-1
Stokecelona v Norwich
Apparently Stoke are good now and should have enough to beat Norwich, that is as much I can think of to say about this uninspiring looking fayre.
MP 2-0
LP 2-1
Sunderland v Liverpool
With Hansen either away or wandering around near the Embankment full of scotch, ‘Lawro’ bravely goes for a draw here. I agree, Liverpool will take some time to adjust to having Suarez back whilst Sunderland’s players will be keen to put on a show in order to prove that it was all Di Cantio’s fault after all.
MP 1-1
LP 1-1
Everton v Newcastle
Newcastle have done well recently but Everton beat Chelsea last time they played at Goodison and they will dispatch the Geordies with consummate ease.
MP 2-0
LP 2-1
Read BBC Football ‘Expert’ Mark Lawrenson’s full predictions here:
And follow me on Twitter: @marcusbraeburn
Current Scores
Lawro - 37 points
Marcus - 30 points
(I am also owed one point for the Chelsea v Villa game that I was unable to find ‘Lawro’s’ prediction on)
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